I am feeling absolutely horrible right now. I am down in the dumps. There would be a good chance that I would quit being a fulltime firefighter right now. <\/p>\n
I don’t feel like I fit in on B-Shift at all. I am an outsider for sure. I felt like I was welcomed in on C-shift. That is not really the issue though, it just doesn’t help things.<\/p>\n
What really sucks is the fact that I have served this city for nearly ten years as a reserve firefighter and it means squat to everyone. I am treated like I just joined Pullman Fire for the first time ever. <\/p>\n
I was an engineer, but when I became a temp all of a sudden I am no longer an engineer. I have to do more things. But I bet if I were to go back to being a reserve they would say I am an engineer again. It is just stupid. They want to do things a certain way, but then they make exceptions for some, but not for others. I would have to point out the asinine nature of saying I am good enough to be an engineer on July first, but not July second.<\/p>\n
I need only a little bit of drive time on some of the rigs, but it is hard to get being the temp. Captains usually want to focus on their full-time guys, not me. So I will be set aside in favor of the career guys. So I am lingering not being an engineer.<\/p>\n
After yesterday I was hoping today would be different. I started off okay. I was getting my work done and all was well. I asked the engineer for today about doing some of the practical stuff with the ladder truck for the time I need in order to get checked off. As I was in the process of doing it, the captain came out and said he wanted a different guy to do it. That just totally angered me and made me feel like I am done with this.<\/p>\n
So many things seem to be piling up on me right now. In some ways I just want to tell the chief thanks for the chance, I enjoyed many aspects of being fulltime, but there were some issues I was just unable to deal with. I have been doing this for nearly seven months. If I was only five months from being off probation that would be nice, but I would still have twelve months from the time of hire to be on probation. Seven months has been too much, another year is just horrible.<\/p>\n
It makes me feel like I have two options at this point, just say “screw it.” Do my own thing and just don’t give a rip about anything else and do my job as required, but not play with other peoples’ games. Or play the games and have a better chance of “fitting in” with everyone should I get hired and make it off probation.<\/p>\n
I want to just get my engineer stuff done under their nose. They are not going to help me do it. I have to go out and do it on my own. I am going to have to find time with Brown to get it done while on duty that way I can be done with it and not have to try to rely on the captains who have priorities that are different from mine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am feeling absolutely horrible right now. I am down in the dumps. There would be a good chance that I would quit being a fulltime firefighter right now. I don’t feel like I fit in on B-Shift at all. I am an outsider for sure. I felt like I was welcomed in on C-shift. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[3],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/330"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=330"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/330\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2631,"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/330\/revisions\/2631"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=330"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=330"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.scottyanderson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=330"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}