Whoa is Me

The only plans I had today was to go out with Chia and go to bed early because I am working at the SO tomorrow. I took a little nap around four o’clock because I was pretty tired. At around five-thirty I got a text message. It was one I was halfway expecting. Sure enough Chia was backing out. So I was pretty disappointed. I don’t get to go out very often. I was excited to go out and hang out with someone, another thing I don’t get to do very often… And it doesn’t happen. I wanted to get some dinner, but I had no idea what I wanted. So I went to Dairy Queen and overate.

I think lately I have been eating very poorly. I need to get control of myself, but my stress level is very high. Not getting the fire job, my savings getting low, unemployment ending, being a mo, and no close friends nearby have weighed me down. If there was ever someone who would be a candidate for ending it all, you would think the above would be good reasons. But that is a long-term solution to a short-term problem. I look at others who kill themselves and it is such an irrational decision. Many times if those people waited for a bit thing would get better.

Also there is the fact that there are things to live for. There are many people who have it way worse. I must count my blessings. I still have reasonable health. I have a house, car, truck, motorcycle, quad, motorhome, and more. There is nothing to complain about. I also have softball. Too bad it is not held more often. Well, the whoa is me is over with.

I went to bed around nine-thirty and spent the next four hours trying to get to sleep. I was tossing and turning trying to forget about everything that has happened over the last few weeks.