Crushed in the First Home Game

After I got home from working this morning I went to bed. But within a few minutes I was getting a call from Pete. When I heard him on the phone I realized that I was going to need to get ready for the autopsy that I was going to observe. I knew that was going to help make me tired tonight. I went to the funeral home and watched the autopsy. I was able to see some findings that I had seen and understood what they meant. I had a chance to ask questions and have a better understanding about what happened.

When I got home I cleaned up and headed down to station one. I was meeting up with a reserve who bought tickets for the football game for Brandon and I. Brandon was working on getting the transportation figured out.

When I got to the station I met up with one of the guys there. I wrote something that was used to tease him. After I found out that happened, the situation has made me incredibly embarrassed because certain pieces of information about me are out to some of the newer reserves. I have tried to keep my private life and work life separate. It has worked for a long time.

I talked to him about it. We had e-mailed about it, but I wanted to speak to him about a couple things specifically. I cannot look him in the eye. It is tough to look at him at all. He said he doesn’t have a problem with me. He said that he hasn’t lost any respect for me but I am having a hard time with it. We never used the word gay during our conversation, but I don’t have a doubt he knows about me now. I don’t feel better, I think I will have a hard time being around him and the guy who was doing the teasing. Right now I am not sure who was all told and who knows about the situation, but with the way things get spread and the way rumors get built, it will probably be devastating to me. I will have a hard time around the reserves. I am not sure who knows now and as I interfaced with them today I felt very strange not knowing if they knew or not.

I went back home and met up with Brandon. We made our way to the bus stop to ride it to the game. We first went to the CUB. Then to the PD. I met up with the reserve to get my ticket. We went into the game and met up with Weese. We sat down on the twenty yard-line in the lower section. I stood the whole game. It has been a while since I have done that from the stands. Within eleven second of the game starting Cal scored a touchdown. They did not stop. People were leaving the game in the first quarter. That is a record as far as I have seen.

The Cougs got crushed. From what I heard their worst loss in history. Brandon and I went to the bus to head home. At the house we got some pizza. Watched Cops and then the movie Thank You for Smoking.