Mr and Mrs Caessens

May 27th, 2007

I got ready for Chuck and Mirenda’s wedding. I got them a card and went to Sunnyside Park. I took more than six hundred photos through out the day. They got married on the waters edge. When the service was done they got on a small row boat and went onto the water.

Then we went up and had a BBQ. I was there for a couple hours talking with people and we were having a good time.

Chuck, Mirenda, John, and I went to My Office later on to have some beer and play darts and pool. We were there until nearly closing time. John and I played a lot of darts and a few games of pool. John helped me think through some shots. I would ask him some of his thoughts on what ball I should hit.

We spent some time talking about the fire service and other topics came up including being gay and being able to use gaydar. They asked me if I was able to tell who as the wedding was gay. I had thought these two guys I saw were gay. And sure enough I was correct.

Interesting News on the Homefront

May 23rd, 2007

So I get a phone call from my real estate agent. She told me the people who are trying to sell their house on Brandon were planning on renting a place on Clay Ct. But the place they were going to rent is still being rented by the previous renters. So they have no place to rent. They would like to be somewhere for the next three years. So there is a chance that they would rent my place and I would buy theirs. Don’t know if it will happen, but that is what is happening there.

I got my boat dewinterized today. I will go pick it up tomorrow.

I went to the fire station planning on doing rig checks and then heading back home to talk to my mom. But then I found out we had to do the oil changes and maintenance on the small gas engine items from the rescue. That took us a couple hours to work through all of them. So I was out and about until almost ten at night. I talked to my mom while we were working. I told her what had happened.

I went to Russell’s place after I was done with the fire department. We were talking about the Seattle Pride parade and what happened in Seattle last year. I pulled up an article that I read and I read it to him with some of the comments of the people who were there.

Once Beren showed up, we changed subjects and just hung out and had some dinner. I left around one o’clock in the morning. It was pretty quiet, except for one call at nearly four in the morning. That was hard to get out of bed for.

Incredibly Tired

February 12th, 2007

After getting to bed and sleeping for about four hours I was up again. I was very tired and I got the last few things done with the HazMat CD’s. Shortly thereafter I had to get to the radio show. I went to the studio and I forgot my cell phone at home.

I was dragging as I started the show and I did not have my “A” game going. So I was just being loopy but I got through the show. I did not think it was all that good. I had a little bit of time at home before I had to get to the fire station to work on the Rescue and where to put the new tools. When I got home there was a message from Pete about a suicide down at the river. He ended up going on it.

I met up with Erik at the fire station and we put the new tools and Rescue and rearranged the tools that existed on it. It is cool that we are running the new tools now. With OTEP training coming up at seven o’clock I just decided to hang out at the station.

Pete called me and told me that if I had some time to go to the funeral home and investigate the wounds to get an idea of what happened on this case. It was interesting because now I have seen shotgun, handgun, and rifle damage to the human head. There is a lot of differences between each one.

The OTEP training was pretty short over all. We covered burns. Once we were done with the training I went to Mike’s house for poker. I was there until midnight. I ended up walking away with an extra thirty-one bucks.

When I got home I wrote back and forth with Matt and Monte about the call from yesterday. I told Matt that I was not offended and that he could not offend me. I asked both to keep the information secret. I also asked Monte how Tom knew about it. It was Tom who told Monte. Monte said he heard about it several years about and it was a non-issue to him. I was surprised to hear that Tom has known about it for three or four years. Monte said “remember it is a small world”. I wonder if the Evergreen article is how Tom found out.

Drive By Cellphoning

February 11th, 2007

I was so tired I just couldn’t get myself out of bed. I had planned on getting up around ten o’clock am to call George. I finally got up around noon and called him about getting my truck seat fixed. I left a message and he called me back a while later. By they I had planned on going to play some poker at Mr. Z’s, but I wanted to get my truck seat fixed. He gave me directions to his place and I headed there. He has a really nice house over looking the LC valley. I helped him remove the seat and chatted with him while he was fixing it. It did not take very long compared to what I thought it would take. It was a total of two hours. He glued all the foam back together as well as added reinforcements to it so it will not happen again anytime soon.

After he was done he took me to his house to show me around. he had a very large house that he built himself. His downstairs had twelve foot ceilings so he can display all his hunting kills. He has a ton of those as well. I got back to Pullman with some time to spare before rig checks. I made myself some dinner and kicked back ever so slightly.

Before long though I had to go to the station. I first spent time with the new guys on their map tests. We got several of them knocked out. While working on the map tests a call went out so I asked Tyson to go on it in my place. It was only a fire alarm. By the time they got back I had started to wash out the bay. We got another call. I went on that one and had Tyson go over some of the tools on Engine while we were gone.

Finally we were able to get back and just work on the rig checks. We were nearly done. Tyson and I did the pump test while Keith and Brian showed the new guys how to use the tools.

When we were all done I went home and started on the project for the HazMat team. I have a bunch of DVD’s they want copies of. I wanted to go to bed because I have to be up for the radio show, plus I am leaving town and wanted some sleep before I would have to prepare for the road.

As I was working away on the DVD copying project I was also working on my organizing of the boxes of files and papers I have that I need to get put away in order to complete the move-in process.

I was able to get a fair amount of that complete as I started the next DVD in the machine. But on the last DVD I was having problems with it not finishing the read.

Before I got to that point, however, I got a call. When I got onscene I was helping with the patient and Matt, from WSU PD, made a joke about the patient having the same issues that I was. I had heard why we were there and then when he said that wasn’t sure I heard him correctly. I was taken aback slightly because I was unsure if he said that because he knew about me or if he was just making a joke. It because clear to me it was a joke at the time. As we were walking out of the apartment he said he was sorry. I then told him I heard he gives reach-arounds, something Kelly, yesterday, said I need to joke with him about.

That was that as far as I knew. But when I got back to my place and I was working on the DVD project I decided to check my facebook account and there was a message from Carl.

I was talking to Matt who told me what he said to you at the Medical call. He said that he felt really bad about it and it was not his intention to offend anyone. He always jokes around but wanted me to tell you he was sorry.

So when I saw this I figured he must now know, if he didn’t already know. I tried to get more information from Carl. It seems that somehow Monte told Matt about me. What really surprised me is that Monte knows. I am not sure how he would have found out. I am curious as to how Monte found out, unless he remembers it from that one article that Rob wrote for the Evergreen. So now Matt knows.

I hate it when people find out. It causes me concern. It is the whole idea that when only I know they other person is normal or what they do to me is them acting out who the are. But when they know I am gay and I know they know then I seem to be hypersensitive about it insofar as I am always wondering what they are thinking. Because now everything I do will go through their “gay” filter. They will wonder if I did something because I am gay. That will be on their mind, and because I know they know I am gay, then I know that they are thinking certain things, therefore I get concerned about what they are thinking. So rather than them being themselves around me they will self-censor and I can never really have good friends if they are always afraid of being who they are.

They should not worry about making any kind of jokes. I don’t want them thinking they need to keep their back to the wall around me. I want them to judge me on being a softball player, or a firefighters, or whatever I am doing. Not based on the fact that I am gay.

How do you explain that to someone? John G. seems to understand what I am saying and he gives me a hard time. Which is how John acts, so he does not treat me differently. But what about Matt. How can I explain to him the concept of being gay I don’t fully understand it. I can explain that I am not happy that I am gay. That it is not something where I make a conscious choice to be attracted to certain guys. I can try to let him know that I would love to be attracted to women and that I could live out a normal life. But because I cannot the only thing that will help is if people don’t stop being themselves around me.

I want him to understand that I believe that you must choose to be offended. And in no way was I offended on the call. He probably thought that because of my reaction, but my reaction was because I was concerned that he knew.

I now have to try to talk to him and hope that he doesn’t start to act differently around me. I hope that I can also get him and Monte to not say anything to anyone as I want the information to not make it out to everyone. I like having my own little secret.

So to top that off we got two more calls. One was for a rollover car accident. Turns out that no one got hurt, but we were on scene for a bit. We got the rig cleaned up. It was nearly five in the morning I figured that we were done for the night, but nope. We had a drive-by cellphoning. That is where someone sees what appears to be a car accident and rather than stopped to see if people are okay, they keep driving and call it in on their cellphone.

The problem is that many times no one is hurt so we all go out there to find the person is fine, or that no one is even there anymore. I wish people would just stop for a couple minutes and see if the person needs an ambulance before calling it in. That would help everyone involved in the situation.

Being with Ben

January 12th, 2007

I still cannot get a hold of Peter. He can be so frustrating some times. One week he is there and easy to get a hold of, then the next week he falls off the face of the Earth and does not return calls nor answer his phone. We needed to contact each other all week about our show time. He has not returned my calls nor E-mail, so finally I just filled out the application and sent it in for myself. I am going to try to get back the Monday eleven o’clock AM to one o’clock PM show.

Ben called me today and asked if I wanted to hang out with him. I sure did. I had dinner in the oven, so I waited until that was done and had some pizza before heading to Ben’s. We were going to watch Nacho Libre and Cannonball Run. Nacho Libre was one of those movies that was okay to watch once, but I probably would not own it.

Following that we watched Cannonball Run. It has been a while since I last watched it. There were a lot of big names in that movie. I think some of the things they do in that movie is lost of younger people.

After those movies we hung out and started to talk about guns, police, and some stops we were in. Then Jordan came over after the drag show from Moscow. He was going to contact a guy he had met there. We were giving him advice on what he should say when he sends the texts back and forth. He did not know that I was the same guy he had spoken with online in the past.

After he left Ben, Ashton, and I were talking a little bit about homosexuality. Sounds like Ben was sort of freaked out by it at first but has warmed up to it. It is funny, because Ben is very hands on and has given me friendly hugs from time to time. He still doesn’t know that I am gay, but after last night and the things I said, I wonder if it made him wonder.

CISD Team

January 10th, 2007

I started the evening off going to Colfax for a CISD team meeting. They were looking for new members, so I thought I would see what it is about. Now it seems that I am on the team and they are looking at having a training class come in soon to get the new people trained.

Afterwards I went to Safeway and did some shopping for some food items I was running low on. When I got there Richard texted me about going to Val Halla. So I decided I would go there after I was done shopping. When I got there it was not too packed. I met up with Richard and Tyson was there. He came over and said hello.

Richard and I stood around chatting about various things, then at one point he asked me about tops and bottoms. He said he recently learned about that concept and was wondering how gays knew who was a top and bottom when trying to meet someone. I told him one was in mannerisms.

I was there until after one in the morning. We started to play pool and we kept on winning. We won three games in a row, and the last two were ugly wins, but we won. Finally a new group of guys came and won. That was my cue to leave because I was going to meet up with Russell for the Wednesday night dinner.

I got there and the food was still warm. I got some potatoes and gravy with meat. It was grub. We watched Snakes on a Plane. It wasn’t a horrible movie, but now that I have seen it I will not have to watch it again.

Poker Night in Colfax

December 30th, 2006

Russell came over to my place and helped me remove hard drive from some of the computers I was giving away. I found though that there were four computers in the garage I am not getting rid of at this point. So I will have six computer cases sitting around unless I take some time to go through them and get rid of them. I think I will have to do that, but I don’t have the time any time soon. I need to make a list of things I want to get done and put them in order by priority.

After we were done with the computer we went to Moscow. First to Walmart followed by Office Depot, then to Hastings. We looked at the selection of gay magazines. Then we went to the mall. Starting by going to Macy’s and then down to the bed and bath place. That is probably the most gay place to be in the mall. Perfect for us I suppose.

When we walked inside there was a ten-six-seven working. I spent some time trying to figure out if he was family or not. After watching him and his actions I started to think that, plus the fact he chose to work there. At one point when I talked to him it was pretty clear he was family. I was looking at getting some oils that when heated give off a pleasant odor. I chose not to when I saw the prices for everything.

We left there and I took Russell back to my place so he could get to sleep so he could work.

I got ready to hit Colfax for some poker. I got someone to cover for me at the fire department. We played a dealers choice game down there. Jim, Connie, Scott, Carl, Kathy, and I were there for several hours playing poker. I ended up losing some. Connie, the newbie, and Kathy did okay. I think Jim won some money as well.

I was down there until nearly one in the morning when the game finally broke up. I my way back to Pullman I called Whitcom to let them know I was on call for the coroner. I also asked to talk to Jamie.

I had thought of a joke that only certain people could really understand. It went like this:

Did you hear Saddam was executed? (The other person will usually make some sort of comment whether it is sarcastic or just affirming that they had heard.)
I guess he was given three options for method. Hanging, firing squad, or driving on One-Ninety-Five.

Today was a good day. It was enjoyable to go out with Russell and walk around some stores as well as playing some poker with my friends from Colfax Fire.

Christmas at Jon’s

December 24th, 2006

I made my way down to Renton to get Justin his Christmas present. It was a fifty dollar gift card for a video game place he likes to go to. I also thought of a funny joke to play on Justin.

I got a paper towel and wrote “Scooby Doo” on it. Then I wrapped it and gave it to him as his gift. He fought the tears for a moment, then he started to cry. I then let him in on the real present. He felt better.

We had chineese food over at Jon’s for Christmas. It was fun. We were there for a couple hours eating and playing games. It was good to spend time with teh family.

I met up with Brian a little after I left Jon’s. We drove into Seattle and went to The Cuff. We hung out there for about an hour. There was a fair number of people there. I had some pop and we were outside talking for a while.

Brian was getting mad when I was not getting close to him and I seemed to pull away. I explained to him the whole issue of my softball team thinking I am not gay. And that I don’t want them to find out when they see me having a gay guy all over me. It is a long story about what happened. But pretty much they thought I was gay, then they talked themselves out of it. I let them talk themselves out of me being gay. Now that it is several years later, I feel that it would be bad if they found out about me now.

Brian doesn’t understand that. But he is a lot of like a woman. He calls and wants all my time. Anyway, we drove around after that for a while and ended up in Renton. We hung out by the river for a while and called it a night around three in the morning.

Happy Thirty-Third Scotty!

December 19th, 2006

That is correct as the year marches on I always get closer to my birthday. This year it came on December Eighteenth, just like every year before it. I had planned on a Monday Night Football party with a celebration on my birth.

I went out and bought some supplies. I made Chili-Phily and nachos. Ryan came from Spokane. It was so good to have him come down! Russell came over and Ryan asked him to be a groomsmen at Ryan’s wedding. Dan came over with two of the boys and we hung out eating and talking about stuff while watching the end of the Monday Night football game. Russell and I joked about making Ryan perform in a drag show for his bachelor party. We also said it would be a “fabulous” party with us doing it.

Russell and Dan left as the guys from the fire training come over. Aaron and his girlfriend, Jen, came over. As did Tyson, George, and the Uskoski’s made it over as well. I showed them around the house. We all hung out in the kitchen drinking and laughing. It was so great to have the Dan and Michele make it over.

When everyone left Dan and Michele hung around a while longer drinking some more beer. We were talking about homsexuality and what is it like to be gay and trying to hide it for the most part. They left around one in the morning and I went to my den. I was pretty tipsy and I drank a ton of water and chatted with a couple people online for a while before making my way to bed. I was talking to Joe about being gay a little bit. I was hoping he would tell me something, but he is still not saying anything at all.

Welcome back Haymon

April 22nd, 2005

Today started out with my last day of work for the week. I went into Pullman. Ryan and I met up for lunch at Pizza Pipeline.

After I got off work I went to Colfax. I hung out at the fire station for a while. I sorted through my change that I had on my night stand. I had more then one hundred bucks. I got it all rolled up.

I grabbed the pizza from Bulldog pizza near the meeting time for the Coroners meeting. I went to the Coroners office and saw Kris from District Court. We chatted for a few minutes. She asked how I like life and about my job. Pete arrived and I went inside just ahead of him and set the pizza in the office. I got some plates out and he asked where Patti was. Finally he called her house and found out she thought the meeting was on Saturday. So Pete and I met and ate pizza.

We talked about a few cases. I asked Pete his advice about my ankle and the pain I still get from it. He said I should go see Pennington about it.

After the meeting I went to the fire station. Carl was working with Dan to redo the computer. I hung out there for a few hours hoping that we would get a card game going. It turned out there was no game. I was planning on heading home and going to bed because I was getting tired.

Ryan called and said Haymon was in town. I knew he was coming, but I did not expect him until Sunday. He got in early. He said I should meet up with them. At first I was not going to go, then I decided to go. As I was heading to Pullman I remembered about the After-Party Nic was throwing. I was thinking about going there too.

I arrived at Rico’s. I saw Neil outside. I followed him inside but he was too far ahead of me. He went upstairs. Then into the bathroom. I thought at first they may have all been playing pool. So I sat outside the bathroom waiting for him. Haymon walked up the stairs then saw me. He got really big eyes and smiled big. He came over and said hello and gave me a handshake and a hug. After he went to the bathroom I followed him down stairs.


Haymon, Moe and a guy chat

I sat at a table with Ryan, Moe, Haymon, Neil, and a few other people for a while. Haymon was going to get a round a beer and asked if I wanted anything. I said a water. Then he gave me a look. So I said I would have a Coors Light. I drank that down and people were getting ready to head out. Our plan was to get someone from another bar and go play cards. The game would be Killer Uno. We were also going to get some beer from the store. Once outside of Rico’s I had them line-up for a photo-op.

We left to meet at the Coug. I went inside first. The others had not arrived yet. So I got a glass of beer and walked away from the crowd. I got bumped in the process and spilled beer all over my shirt. The I worked on drinking it while the other arrived. Ryan and I went outside. The Coug is a big-time Greek bar. It is all sorts of better-than-thou people that hang out there.

After one person was missing inside, Haymon, was a one-man search party to find the person. We got her and then headed to Shakers where the person we were looking for was located. We walked to Shakers, another Greek bar. When we went inside and I told Ryan to keep up with the others. He failed in doing so and we lost them through the crowd. Finally we made our way downstairs. They walked out to the dance floor. I did not want to push my way through the crowd so I waited near the stairs and the pool table. I saw Pete from WSU Fire there. He said hello to me. Ryan went to look for the others. He located them around the corner and they found the guy, Lars, that they were looking for.

While Ryan was gone I saw Jory from the softball team. He said hello and then asked if I was married. I told him I wasn’t. He said “great, let’s go pick up some chicks.” I laughed and he did too. Then I told Jory I needed to go meet up with my group of people. It was near closing time. Moe gave me half of his rum and Coke that he had. I drank that and we walked outside. I headed from my truck and they headed for the cars. We were going to go to Dissmore’s before they stopped serving alcohol.

We got down there in time. They got three half-racks of beer and I got something to eat. Moe rode with me to Waller. I dropped him off at Waller. Then I parked my truck by the hospital. I walked up to Waller and they said that Haymon remember he had a hotel room we could use to drink and play cards rather than sitting around in the Waller library.


Ryan has beer… In hand!


Neil with lots of beer.

We drove to the Holiday Inn and Haymon checked into his room. We walked up there and no one really drank any beer. In fact we never opened the brand new decks of Uno cards we purchased at Dissmores. Instead we spent the next two hours telling jokes and talking about some sex stuff. One girl was talking about what men and women like in terms of sex and how it changes with age.


Ryan is getting Frisky


Haymon demonstrates how to get a promotion.

Then Neil said something about Russell being gay. I played stupid and Ryan and I kept making them feel dumb because they would show some of the “evidence” that Russell was gay and we would give an example of someone else doing that thing and asking if that person was gay as well. That went on for a while. We laughed so hard that my kidneys felt like they had been used as a punching bag for the evening. I took some pictures and videos while in the room.


We put beer around Haymon.
He woke up just as I took this pic.

Around four o’clock AM Haymon was pretty much out. The others were starting to fade. So, we all left. We walked to the cars. As Ryan was talking to me we was not watching where he was walking and bashed his knee into the hitch on my truck. I was laughing hard about that as well. It was a fun night and to think I was ready to go home at ten o’clock PM.

Family Movie Night

April 21st, 2005

Ryan and I met up at lunch yesterday and ate at Basilio’s. He also gave me half the money for the parking permit. I did the normal stuff at work trying to get this stuff figured out.

At five o’clock I got a pizza and went to Russell’s for movie night. We were going to watch Get Real and Beautiful Thing. Several family members came over to watch them as well. Steve, a friend of Nick’s also came over.

After the first movie most of the people left. Nick, Steve, and I watched the second movie. Then Steve asked how I am a conservative/Republican gay man. I started to explain my underlying beliefs and how those translate into aligning with the Republicans. I guess you could say that we are, but not always for the same reason. But the ends are the same, and the means of getting to the end I would like to see is in the pathway of the Republicans.

I can say some of the things the Republicans are doing go against my beliefs, however, the things the democrats want to do are even farther away from what I would like to see, so I have to take the one that gives me the most of what I want.

We started to watch Dr. Strangelove after that, but it was getting near two in the morning and I wanted to get home. So I gave them a ride back to Waller and went home myself.

Softball practice with Gay-Rod

April 14th, 2005

After spending a fun-filled day trying to figure out how to get Dexma to respond to my computer and getting the final touches on everything, I left the day without anything working. I did get the latest changes to FootballPA completed. I have the offense indicator that will start the cursor in the correct box.

After work I went home and got my softball stuff put on. Then I headed to Auburn to pick up Mike. He seems to think I am gay for some reason. Mainly because I am playing in a gay softball league. I keep side-stepping the question. Only one person in my class from high school knows and I want to leave it that way for now. I don’t think there would be real harm in him knowing, but I still don’t want him to know.

So when I picked him up he said “okay… now come clean.” After side-stepping the question we headed for Woodland Park. At practice Mike did really well, and he showed the coaches that he would be too highly rated to play on the team. So he would not be able to play with us.

I took him home and then I went home myself. I chatted with Ryan about the Mariners big ten to two victory and we also talked about CSI that I has missed. I did not get home until close to eleven o’clock PM. I watched the news and the Simpsons before finding my way to bed.

A new project

April 11th, 2005

With the new week I now have a new project that I am working on. It is one that I spent most of the day trying to run down and figure out how the thing works. It was slow going at first as it always is when I first get going on something.

On my way home I called Mike about playing softball on the Maulers team. He asked if I was gay. Because he does not understand why I would keep playing in the league. I side-stepped the question. Only Matt from my high school friends knows I am gay, and I will leave it like that for a while.

I told him that I want to play softball and if he can find me another team I will play on it, but until then I am going to play ball with these guys. I talked him into coming out and practicing with us. I hope that he will work out.

I got home and worked on a problem with the credit cards on the Janders site. It is not taking payments like that. I am not sure why it popped up, but there was a problem with the SQL statement. There were also some other problems that related to that elsewhere. I spent a while trying to run down all the problems. Finally I was able to figure them all out. For a while I was getting mad because I could not get it working correctly.