Dealing with Crushing News

Hard to think of anything about today other than the letter I received. I started out today up the tower working on doing EVAP check offs for the new guys.

I headed home and stopped to get my mail. There was a letter from the city of Pullman. Right away I knew what it was. I wasn’t selected to be a career guy. It felt like a kick in the gut. I didn’t feel like doing a lot, but I have to keep on.

I went to softball, but I went early. So many things are flying through my head I just need something to take me away from the overwhelming sense of rejection and failure. I wasn’t sure how to deal with this. But I do know is that quitting is not the correct option.

We played against Bill’s Welding in softball. We beat them. I did my normal stuff at softball. When we left I let Heston know I got the letter. I wanted him to know that I knew I didn’t get the job and that I was still the guy I normally am.

I did however find someone to cover me at the fire department. I needed to be away from it for a while. I talked to Turpin at the fire station for a little while and then on to the house. I had a couple beers and talked with BKoe for a while about it. We had some friends come over and played Settlers of Catan. It felt good to get my mind off of everything. What I need to distance from the whole things. Dwelling on it and yelling about it will not change it. I have to come to terms with it and then move on. As hard as it is, I need to do this.

I talked to Ryan on the phone about it for a while. He is the first friend I told I didn’t get the job. I let a couple others know after him. I also called my mom and wished her a happy Mother’s Day. I let her know I didn’t get the job.

That is what I am doing. I am not a big drinker and I am not one who needs to use alcohol when things go bad. For the most part I hardly touch the stuff. But tonight was a night I just wanted to sit in the backyard. Listen to some music. Sip on a cold one and just let me mind go.

I did that for the most part, but BKoe was there and I was able to get some things off my chest. That is what I need more than anything. It is good to get things off my chest.