Grandma is not doing well

My grandma Dalen is in the hospital and is not doing well. She has pneumonia really bad. Pretty much he lungs are filled. She is having a hard time breathing. They are giving her medications for it, but it does not look like anything is working right now. I have been talking to my mom about it. At first they were doing a little bit, but they did not want to do too much. I told her that she needs to either fight it or don’t. But don’t go half way and sort of fight it. So she agreed with me and decided to go all the way and fight this medical condition.

She flew out this morning to go to North Dakota. I had talked to her on the phone about the latest. That is when I found out things were not improving. I called Pete for two things. I wanted to hear from him about this kind of situation. As a coroner and someone who works around this kind of stuff, I figured he may have some information that could help me know what is about to happen. I am supposed to be on call Saturday. But I told him depending on what happens I may not be coming out there. He said it was okay.

I am waiting to know for sure whether I will go back to Pullman this weekend like I am planning or if I will stay out here and wait for grandma to die so I can go back to the funeral without going back and forth from Pullman and here.

Pete pretty much said in the end stages, and from what I am telling him, she appears to be in end stages. Once we see the medications are not working and decided to stop fighting and only do comfort measures. She will probably die do to heart failure in one to two days. So if they stop everything Friday night, which is what they are thinking about doing, if the medications don’t start to help, she could die this weekend.

I have some very mixed feelings about the funeral. I don’t know if I want to see her in the casket. I don’t know if I want to remember her other than how I do in my mind right now. I remember her as being alive and kicking and fun.

Also, I haven’t cried at a funeral since my grandpa died back in eighty-seven. The last funerals I was at, for my other grandpa, and my step-grandma I have had nothing. I don’t know what it is. I did not have the coroner job back that. Nor was I with the fire department. It is almost like being a jailer at the time took away that ability for me to show weakness.

The other thing is that I am worried about the money to get out there. It will be between eight-hundred and a thousand bucks to fly. Driving would take about twice as long and be cheaper. Some of the flights will take anywhere from seven to twelve hours in total because of layover and the routes necessary to go.