I Was Too Whimpy

September 5th, 2009

Today is the Cougars’ season opener for football. This is the first year I have not been eager about the football season. That dates back to the loss of the no-shutout streak the Cougs had. It had dated back to eighty-four. I am bitter over that being lost, so I haven’t been able to get overly excited about this season. We did better against Stanford than last season, but I didn’t care.

I watched the Cougar game on TV until I had to leave to go to Bothell for Justin’s football game. I put in Ballard High School in the GPS. I hit the road. I got on to the five-twenty bridge. Just after the last exit I realized that I had put in Ballard instead of Bothell. So I had to go across the bridge and back to get on the correct route. Justin’s team won. Jon is the first year coach. This is the first win for the team. They were winless last season.

On the way back from Bothell I had texted back and forth with Peter. I was thinking I could meet up with him. I went to his place and we sat down and talked. Just like the times before. We talked politics. We agree on things, but we always find a way to argue our points and make fun of the other person.

I wanted to ask him point blank what happened to us back in the day. But I wasn’t able to muster up the courage to bring up the subject. I was mad at myself for being a whimp about it. I want to know the answer, but I am not sure the best way to bring it up. A couple times I wanted to ask, but I never did.

When I left I was on the way home and I was mad at myself thinking about how I could have brought it up. I think the way I can do it is to ask him, “What happened at the beginning of your sophomore year?” That will start off the conversation. I need to know how I went from someone who hung out with him daily to someone he acted like didn’t exist. We went from best friends to people who never saw each other. It was all on him though, because I still tried. He even admitted on his twenty-first birthday that he was being an “ass” to me.

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